Nice hustle. Real nice. But unless there's a portal between those thighs I want the fucking explanation.

Communist Sweden's looking more and more like a better place to live.

And that problem was being too far away from sliced bread and various condiments.

A security guard that offers no security, is like a German hooker that doesn't let you shit on her chest. It's false mother fucking advertising.

Well, she's got my vote. And probably my newspaper and MP3 player too.

Or be a crazed Asian woman in a casino. Now she has two owies.

This may be the worst abuse of power I've ever seen. In Alaska. This week.

Clearly the hole in operation "Petrol Pinch" was miscommunication and lack of speed due to pregnancy. Those 2 things never coexist outside of the Alabama dating scene.

Spoiler alert: Random objects to the skull is just how they say hello in Asia. Seriously, look it up.

And the female driving stereotype shall rule the cosmos for the next 48 years.

For a group of people that only want concrete and rails, they sure do get treated like shit most of the time.

And that goes for subways, buses and taxi cabs as long as they contain the possibility of running into a human gene pool defect like this one. Someone give this bitch an exorcism, post-haste.

Pro tip: I hear stuff like this never happens in the kitchen. Mainly because you can't fit a car in there. But truth is truth.

They said we'd never get a movie adaption of Hungry Hungry Hippos. They were wrong.

An unedited look at the life of a human conveyer belt, and what happens when she fucks with the wrong domestic abuser. Ya dun goofed Diamontavia.

Sometimes you have to take your anger out on the closest human being. Especially ones that don't know how to fight back. That happens twice here.

Every girl from China called, they said get your shit together. Then went back to their breakfast of egg noodles and recycled bicycle tires.

Doesn't even need to be said that this happened in Russia. Mexicans are too trigger happy to even get out of the car, and Americans are too lazy.

This isn't even supposed to be possible. But either are 4 Paranormal Activity movies, and look how that bullshit turned out.

Still not clear what that message could have been other than to clothe the mentally insane at all times.