Sports

UFC 142's main event!

I'll be honest with you, I don't know who's who. And after that hit I'm pretty sure the loser doesn't either. That makes us even.

As big a Brock mark I am, its satisfying to see him bow out this way. Disease aside he did a lot in a short time & calling it quits before stubbornness ended up killing him was a much needed touch of class to his resume.

Now he has to sit on the bench, not do an ounce of physical activity and collect a 2 million dollar paycheck. 2012 is looking like a rough year.

Probably the most entertaining fight on the card, outshining the main event in more ways than one.

And the winner of fastest fight of 2011 is...

He jus... wait, what? Fuck... okay.

Next time you can't masturbate because your fat girlfriend is sleeping in the bed right next to you, watch this and you'll instantly feel better.

Testosterone fueled, maniacal woman that go for the death blow anytime the opportunity presents itself. Remind me again why they're single? Oh yeah, the nut sac.

Soccer, football, rugby... and now boxing? Get this going in golf and maybe, just maybe, I won't change the channel and assault my boner to The View.

Don't worry, he's British. The only way a girl will notice something is wrong is if he's not riding a bicycle while having sex with her.

Who the fuck is Holly Holm? Who the fuck knows. But she ain't pretty no moe.

Straight up awesome. So if you were looking to verbally assault a person infinitely more talented than you, this is the video you're looking for.

It was once believed roofies and gunpoint were the only way to get one of these girls in the the horizontal position. Myth busted.

Excessive touchdown celebrations are forbidden and fined. But rip your helmet off and willingly give yourself 3 coma's worth of brain damage and it's all good. Gotta love that handegg.

UFC 139's main event!

UFC 139: Wanderlei Silva vs. Cung Le

UFC 139: Ryan Bader vs. Jason Brilz

If Bloodsport has taught me anything, it's that he will come back stronger and more ferocious than ever. Then get his face kicked in by a 250 lb Chinese bulldozer. Poor guy.

This has got to be the best job in the world. I'm officially replacing "Kate Upton's Tit Powderer" with it on the all time top 10 list.