Sports

UFC 146: Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio Silva

UFC 146: Roy Nelson vs. Dave Herman

Most people have a soft spot in their hearts for things like this. But we don't. HAHAHA STUPID FUCK.

Dude tried to muscle his way through the pain but it was too much. Kinda like every girl in the industry that does anal for the first time, except he didn't wake up pregnant.

This was almost as bad a decision as his father made on the night he was conceived, not to jerk off instead.

Who said chivalry is dead?

Watching this may make you proud to be fat and lazy with no desire to partake in physical activity once again.

Call it heart or call it dedication. We call it depression that they could do this every week for the next 10 years and not make 1/4 of Floyd Mayweather's paycheck from a single fight.

Renaming yourself "Metta World Peace" kinda conflicts with inflicting brain damage on strangers. Unless you live in Botswana. Then nobody really gives a shit what you do.

4 years of ballerina training and the first heterosexual thing he has to show for it almost kills an innocence man. That kinda sucks.

Finally. Someone is turning my dream of mixing Street Fighter with sporting events into a reality. See you at Synchronized Swimming With Blanka.

Limit yourself to just 1 wank per day and you too might be able achieve the greatness of these modern day warriors.

Epic Undertaker clothesline happens at the :20 second mark. No steroid cocktail for you after the game tonight, bitch.

If you ever thought gold medals should be awarded on a sliding sxale, well.... You're fucking retarded.

It's okay. Last I checked you didn't need teeth to kick a ball and fake a sprained ankle. He's good.

Gotta admit, that was pretty fucking awesome. Dude must have seen the entire Three Ninjas trilogy like 5 times.

Figures it would happen in a game like crickets. Getting access to a man's ball sac seems like it would be top priority for these players.

First person to turn their legs into the letter "K" wins. Ready, set... oh you won.

Actually it more like 3.5 seconds. But who's counting? Definitely not the guy who doesn't know the multiplication table anymore, that's for damn sure.