Cool

I don't see why they're being wasted on french fries and gelled fat. But I also don't know why they say "yes" to guys named Tyrese at 4:00 AM either. Mysteries of life.

For fuck sakes, no movie with Vin Diesel in it should be dragged into real life. Do I need to remind you about "The Pacifier"?

He jus... wait, what? Fuck... oh okay.

If this isn't on your xmas list yet, please reevaluate your man card at once.

There's no type of collision here. So if you're looking for arm ripping, insurance spiking, solidified reasons to never leave your computer chair - search elsewhere.

One way or another this is going to make you feel like a fat, unproductive sac of shit.

These things go for anywhere from $3,500 to $10,000. A must have if you plan on protecting your home from the zombie apocalypse, or taking on Cyberdyne alone.

Ballsdeep: "Try that against a real defense and you'll be shitting into a bag and breathing with a machine for the rest of your quadriplegic existence." Pretty much, yes.

If Edwardo put half as much effort into business class as he did to ninja vanishing maybe he wouldn't have to ride this piss box to work everyday in the first place.

First clip is a high school player landing a 67-yard field goal, shitting on the NFL record. The second is why you beat your kids until they learn.

Let me get this straight. When they drive at 100+ mph on public roads, using police cars as obstacles there isn't a single casualty. But the average daily commute stacks up double digits. WTF Russia.

Fuck you, physics.

3.5 feet worth of dribbling and shooting explosiveness. No it's not a Chinese penis, it's Mani Love.

See? Peaceful protesting is possible. Peaceful, tan-lined c-cup protesting never hurt anybody. mmhmm.

The zoo animals at this cousin-swapping hootenanny wouldn't know prime cooch if it gyrated itself in front of their faces. Literally.