A night of boozing so abusively can only be followed up by senseless violence. Aboard his future stretcher, he rides off into the sunrise with 2 new reasons a girl will never have sex with him again.

Whether it's drowning after falling off your porch door on your journey into American waters or getting your ass beat, Latin people have the solution.

I'd say it's time to throw her back but the fork lift rental probably isn't worth it.