If you forget about taking a shit in the neighbor's mailbox and putting the flag up, this is one of the better things alcoholism has resulted in

Hopefully the 6 daughters she's currently pregnant with grow up with better morals.

Finally, girls that take pride in the female body. Bra-fucking-vo.

Well, getting out of the house and interacting with the locals seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Turner is now charged with discharging a weapon into property, two counts of assault by pointing a gun, going armed to the terror of the people, injury to personal property and assault."

Ahhhhh if only real life imitated porn like this, and not the stuff you see on eFukt. Those four years of college wouldn't had to have been forgotten with booze.

Luckily she has two very capable friends to help with the load. Color me jealous.

And after seeing the vaginal show and tell they play here we're wondering if their limited by the boundaries of species. We're looking at you, girl on the left.

You'd think getting their shirts to hit the ground would take a little more effort than a handful of emoticons and a battle cry. But... nope.

It ended with both of them confused, sticky and smelling like waffle syrup. Are we sure they didn't go to Detroit instead?

Nerdiest of nerds or a man with the sexual prowess of a hamster? When you see his approach to the female body, the answer will be clear as day.

You only get frostbite on your clitoris once.

I don't know how many times a man has to sell his soul to get 1 finger inside inside of this muffin party, but sign me the fuck up and start counting. Fuuuucck.

Watch closely and you can pinpoint the moment he realizes his shiny new boner is about as useful as talent to Kanye West. Shit ain't happening today homeboy.

Armed with 5.5 inches of kielbasi, a video camera and petty cash, this man has managed to blow more loads into female faces than you could shake a cock at.

Webcam video catches a brutal assault that was supposedly started over the old man playing his music too loud. Every fucking thing is backwards in this country.

Look closely into that sea of dripping college vagina and you'll spot a man. A man that you can only dream of being one day. After hitting the lotto. Twice.

Sex usually comes to an end when contact is made by roommates, parents or other curious human beings. But not when you're dating these greedy cunts.

They've got potential. Too bad after a few rounds of pocket hockey w/ douches like this she'll more likely be in a therapists office instead of your bedroom.

Super cute chicks with a (big) hint of stupidity open up their orifices for a guy they've known for a grand total of 37 seconds. Greatness clearly lies in the future.