Why are you reading this? There's blood-squirting nipples on the other side of this link.

Where the fuck is Ripley with that mech suit when you need her?

There's lonely Japanese men, randy K-9's and some sort of prize at the end. That's as much fucking information I want to know and it's going to stay that way.

#japan

Someone had a rough Tuesday afternoon binge.

Just in case watching Oprah has done nothing for your tolerance of women, this is a pretty simple way to get her to shut the hell up. #themoreyouknow

If this video is any indication, spending 9 hours a day playing Black Ops does not prepare you for real combat.

I've seen retarded elementary school kids with more coordination then that, and they drool at least twice as much as her.

And there's a decent chance I never want to know.

After a certain amount of depth is reach, you've officially had sex. So consider both of these poor souls completely fucked.

Gets drunk off two Zimas and has no problem right hooking a chick? Ladies, don't let this one get away.

Doesn't even need to be said that this happened in Russia. Mexicans are too trigger happy to even get out of the car, and Americans are too lazy.

If you guesses zoo animal, one of the Kardashian sisters or a #2 at Burger King, you're pretty much spot on.

I wouldn't be so quick to judge the maturity. This just might be the universal symbol for "I'll just kill you in your sleep with a sledgehammer" in this country.

As a straight man with absolutely no medical training, I recommend NOT exposing your genitals in this venue. There's better, more local to me, ways to get anal rash.

Something is seriously wrong here. And we're not talking about it's lack of tentacle penetration options.

Apparently that's the story here. And the punishment is a bigger bag of WTF than anything Lady Gaga has claimed was formal attire.