Obligatory sound clip.

That's gonna hurt... his grandchildren.

Don't hate soccer as much as the average American does? You're about to.

A pretty damn bold statement there.

Alright uniball, hit the showers. You're done here.

These guys are practically horizontal while driving hundreds of miles an hour. #themoreyouknow

Next time you get punched in the face at a bar, watch this and you'll instantly feel better.

The loser's pride, and possibly part of his tooth are still missing though.

13 straight minutes of being anally bulldozed by a sequoia has yet to produce facial strain like this. Trust me.

Those 10 foot tall stationary walls come out of nowhere sometimes.

Where most guys would just quit when they find out they're in a Ford Escort, not even a brick wall can stop Lynch from taking it all the way to the finish line.

UFC 159: Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen

UFC 159: Bisping vs. Belcher

A prime example of why you should always start what you finish. The 5 going on 6 restraining orders issued against me by WWE's AJ Lee prove that.

With that mutant arm I'd say he found his calling. And unless something opens up in the "giving hand jobs to brontosauruses" department, he'd best stick with it.

And the winner is... karma!

This entire video is pretty sweet, but the move at :37 seconds definitely ended the "Pirates vs. Ninjas" argument. Now we can move on with our lives.

Or ever again without access to Craigslist.

You don't have to be a sports fan to feel the pain from this one. Jason Voorhees would blush at this shit.