After years of talking like a bitch, Marvin finally decided to become one.

When later asked concussion-related questions, he replied that it's the year dog and his name is Blue. Kinda close.

Another fine graduate from the Macho Man Randy Savage Community College.

He might have the body of a newborn chihuahua, but he has the heart of a rottweiler... with a mental disorder.

I don't know why bricks seem to be the weapon of choice in street fights this year. But we're hoping you have a better day than this guy.

Another inch or two, and he would be spending his remaining days as a carrot. A serious downgrade from his normal broccoli-brained routine.

When the time calls for it, you should be allowed to do this same thing to every kid that pees in the pool this summer. And every kid that doesn't.

Pay close attention and you'll realize the attacker has less remorse for people than the assholes that keep green lightning Paranormal Activity movies. (that's a lot)

And that my friends is the fastest way to turn a perfectly good human being into carrot in under 5 seconds. Beat that, Alzheimers.

You think your bloodline sucks? Watch this and then cherish the fact that the most violent your kids get is with misspelled racial slurs on Xbox live.

He floated like a butterfly, and stung himself like the Chlamydia shot he's destined to get in the next 5 years. Enjoy the brain leakage fucker.

Not sure what in the blue fuck happened to him but he's got the right attitude. I'd pay to watch him piss in the mouths of every Facebooker with 1st world problems.

When DJ Jelly Donut isn't busy wreaking havoc at the local D&D, she likes to take long walks on the beach and get her face imprinted into the cement.

Brazilian man is pulled out of an ambulance with the most shocking damn thing I've seen all year and he looks like he gives not one fuck. What a boss.

Valve's idea of pricing Half-Life at a modest $3.99 just backfired. Fuck.

IQ down, ratings up. That's the formula for good TV.

Self-fellatio has it's downfalls. The biggest being a 5 inch wide, 1.5 inch deep gash in your skull. For this guy at least.

49 f-bombs dropped but not one racial comment. I'd say that shows some serious self restraint, or the liquor just doen't work anymore.

Proof that the only way to consider skateboarding a sport, is to add baseball to it.