A security guard that offers no security, is like a German hooker that doesn't let you shit on her chest. It's false mother fucking advertising.

The jackass on the receiving end of these fist sandwiches was trying to get pics of the other guy's elementary school sister. So basically he got off easy since not a single chainsaw entered his anal canal.

Apparently the dispute is over a female's naked pictures being stolen... but we know the truth. About the theft, and his inability to masturbate without a Paramore song blasting.

This one's hard to see, but he's snapping away while sitting on a blind curve on an active toboggan track. Genius.