His approach to sexual intercourse must be planned out well in advance. If not, you're pretty much looking at a scene Jason Voorhees would cry over if he walked in on it.

Stupid bitch. Without the cunt of a yeti, or the vast emptiness of DMX's acting career, this is never happening.

Interesting way to advertise your cervix breaker. Was the side of your apartment building unavailable?

Something about this just screams "wrong". I think it was the Michael Bay-esque post-apocalyptic scene of the inside of her throat that was missing from this.

Not sure what in the fuck is going on here but it looks like some sort of Rosie o'Donnell sex tape.

He could have at the very least gave her some sort of warning or scuba gear before unleashing a bath tub's worth of tapioca on her face. Not a gentleman.

Fucking guy's father must have been a brontosaurus. Black chicks go buckwild for dongs longer than their legs, but this girl just hasn't colored enough greens.

When you spend your break-in period around sub-6 inch vienna fingers, it really doesn't leave you prepared to handle an anaconda. RIP her working jaw bones.

Floss as much as this girl and we promise you'll never get cavities again.

Quite the feat. One that raised all black boners within a 15 mile radius I bet. Speaking of choco erections... this stunt just limited his dating scene to Detroit, Georgia and The Bakuba tribe of New Guinea.

Extreme sports, meet women.

Silky smoothed blonde starts the scene with a coinslot vagina and ends with a Pepsi can dispenser. Perfect if you're looking to cool off on a hot day.

Now you're a man, a man man man. And so am I just for watching this shit.

Jaw fracture in 3... 2... 1. No really, she might be making an emergency appointment after attempting to shove a baseball bat down her throat.

It's hard to believe that penis is real. And it's even harder to believe she willingly went through with this without being forced to at gun point behind the camera.

Feisty female attempts mission impossible. Her 2 finger wide vagina vs. a crooked 2x4 ends with a clear winner. And it sure as fuck isn't her.

One of those "I always saw that shit on an ad picture but never the video itself" moments. And one that her, and her new drive in theater pussy will never forget.