Police are now on the lookout for an angry white Russian men with a closet full of track suits. They'll be picked up in 1 - 2 decades.

He probably told his friends he won this fight too. The brain damage is from a completely unrelated incident of him acting like the way people talk on the Internet.

Fighting in the street? Denny's must have been closed.

Not exactly an awesome brawl or something. So if you're looking for really disturbing entertainment, stick to whatever channel shows that Honey Boo Boo zoo animal.

His composure was simply abysmal. They should really train their fighters better down at the boxcars.

There's a few unwritten rules in the community of meatheads, and this jolly bastard is breaking all of them. Now lets all laugh along with the last of his braincells going bye bye.

Oatmeal and wheelchair are his new favorite words.

Heroism? In Russia? What the fuck kind of sorcery is this?

6 pretty sweet knockouts that we missed over the past few days of carnage. 4 operated by idiots with vertical video syndrome, 2 sort of got it right and 1 reason to carry a tazer on you at all times.

Pankration is what this type of martial arts is called. I know nothing about it other than it makes you do a really good impression of Lindsay Lohan at the methadone clinic.

Especially the skoal chewing, making moonshine in the bathtub next to your naked sister types. Guaranteed funny moments will be had.

Darwin: "Last 2 seconds....what's a little convulsion between friends."

Believe it or not this is actually the favored outcome when you weigh less than a sac of wet potatoes.

Under 150 lbs - check. Chin strap - check. Tattoo that he pretends has deep meaning - check. Yup, everything seems in order here.

Seems like black people can do this shit in their sleep. Way to extend the stereotype another millennium guy.

Or good.