You can now find him stocked next to his like-minded friends: Baby carrots and mini raviolis.

I don't know how low of a point you have to be in your life to mutter the words "punch me in the face as hard as you can", but I'm kinda looking forward to it.

Remember THIS PRANK? He doesn't.

On the bright side, the short bus has a faster route to school.

The only thing more embarrassing for him would have been getting anally penetrated after going unconscious. But he can always work his way up to that.

To be fair, experimenting with bath salts and butt sex were probably going to lead to the same result anyway.

Why? Because helmets are for pussies, and guys that like to feed themselves.

Looks like this baby just shit himself, so it was a perfect time for a nap anyway.

Judging by the double angles it looks like someone wants us to feel bad about his concussion. And I just can't for an idiot that has less bounce than a bag of rocks.

Tall, athlete and lays down at the first sight of danger. We found Kim Kardashian's next husband.

Getting home in time for Totino's Pizza rolls becomes much more of a challenge when your brain turns into fluid. Just ask this guy.

A helmet, the multiplication table and how to talk without drooling into his pockets. These are the things he will need to remember for next time.

Jamal Jenkins Jr doesn't seem to understand the consequences of letting a lifeless body go while standing on a concrete floor. The results aren't multiple choice.

I've never been sucked punched and fallen head first into the ground before, but my mom says it really sucks.

Owned. Or as the Greeks called it, Epicous Failous Maximous.

9 out of 10 pornstars agree, taking it in the head at this speed is dangerous. Which means 1 is a lesbian and needs to be slapped with a penis.

Now everything tastes like scrambled eggs.

I'd be more inclined to feel bad if he didn't make more money in one game then I do all year.