Can't blame him. Lindsay Lohan plays a more believable zombie, and the bitch ain't even trying.

Take a cocky asshole, dress it like Al Borland and let it loose on the public and what do you get? My mom. And sometimes this guy.

So if you start the fight looking like Carrot Top's asshole and still lose, does that count as a double victory for the other guy or... what?

Great - now that tree needs an STD test.

You don't need perfect nasal passages to look like a slow moving fairy on one of these things, so everything's gonna be alright.

Don't worry, your nose is a lot like your appendix and second kidney. It's not really necessary to marry a distant cousin while doing meth.

When you go up against a guy who is totally oblivious to the concept of "attacking", this is what happens.

Septum surgery is definitely in his future. Right next to learning how to insert a tampon correctly.

Totally uncalled for, but I recognize that kind of rage. Poor girl must have been forced to sit through all 2 hours of the last Nicholas Cage movie.

If the next generation of men keep attempting ovulation I'm afraid there's no hope left. Nuke everything from space.

Perhaps fight isn't the best word to describe this. For it to qualify as an actual fight you'd probably have to land a single punch or defend your face from amateur plastic surgery.

Like my grandpa always said: don't start shit you can't finish. And Asian people are from Jupiter.

And the scoreboard says: Broken Noses - 1, Ability to Hold a Camera Without Looking Like The Blair Fucking With is After You - 0.

With any luck, Shenequa Ali will get into a fight with the loser's sister and give them both matching broken faces.

He was supposed to jab him in the ocular region but missed and broke the nose instead. Now his friend can play Gonzo in the live action Muppets movie.

Ouch. If there was anybody that didn't need the added learning difficulties, it was Hector the 17-year-old 9th grader.

In all fairness to the loser, I too wouldn't expect a move like that out of a kid that looks like an inbred squirrel.