In Texas, this is how you get a vasectomy.

And not in the good way.

No pile-up... but where he's going he might be acquainted with that term sooner rather than later.

"Strap me into a shopping cart and push me off a bridge and into 15 feet of water". What could go wrong?

Highlight of the video? A for sale sign in the window of that 3rd gen Eclipse. That gave this clip an entirely new depth of comedy.

And he would have made it through too if it wasn't for those asshole things called "physics" and "intelligence".

Best Craigslist transaction, EVER.

Natural selection at it's finest.

This reminds me how burning to death has got to be the worst way to go. It's officially replacing "Suffocation by Queen Latifah sitting on your face" on my list.

Slow when executing the crime. Propellers up their ass when they realize the customer is an armed cop.

What looks like a simple humiliating faceplant video, is really the last stage of becoming a Justin Beiber fan. You're in bitch.

What happens when you try to drop a V8 engine into a Mazda Miata with less education on the subject than a toddler? This.

2 parts mystery, 1 part extra chromosome. Because you have to be at least a little bit retarded to try and smooch a fucking reptile.

And we can't even blame this one on a Taylor Swift song. Way to bring down the average, fuckers.

You pretty much know what's gonna happen here, but it makes me feel good when videos of douchebags getting owned receive lots of clicks. Watch it twice.

Over 20 minutes but fuck is it worth it. Never before has telling an officer to "suck my cock" been so meaningful.

Well... to be fair there's at least way to trump getting KO'd with your face on fire. But Queen Latifah's a-hole was on vacation this week, so deal with it.

Inbreeding has no positive results. Ever.

Like they always say. If it looks like a duck, talks like a duck and acts like a duck... it's a fucking idiot.

Remember THIS PRANK? He doesn't.

I don't know, but I want to be his friend and make him drink lighter fluid. Lots of lighter fluid.