What's 315 pounds, black and has never made contact with it's own asshole before? If you said the north American grizzly bear, you're only half right.

Being turned into a human projectile by a complete stranger sounds like a bad idea at first. And last, if you happen to be going before Billy "The Fridge" Johnson.

Let's find out.

Over 100 milliliters of man jam shot right into the dome piece: Not exactly the best choice of action when your college sweetheart still lives with the rents.

Stupid bitch. Without the cunt of a yeti, or the vast emptiness of DMX's acting career, this is never happening.

Interesting way to advertise your cervix breaker. Was the side of your apartment building unavailable?

Drug mules aren't just born in the Philippines. It takes practice.

Why waste your time with common sense when you can be immortalized as "that fucking dumbass on YouTube" instead?

Gotta love girlfriends like this. one No complaining, no whining, and the only way she exhausts you is through her track-tested hands. Start taking notes ladies.

Quite the package he's got stuffed down there. One that is probably making one local plastic surgeon a very rich man.

Cool. But the whole not being able to wipe his own ass thing has to be a big negative for the quarterback.

He could have at the very least gave her some sort of warning or scuba gear before unleashing a bath tub's worth of tapioca on her face. Not a gentleman.

Can't imagine how much she bagged during this webcam show. Do you still get e-cred if your haul is less than the cost of an Xbox game?

I haven't seen that much face cream since I took a wrong turn in Macy's and ended up in the fairy department. Pro tip: bring scuba goggles next time.

Watch this for the complete obliteration of the law of gravity. Now would be a great time for Isaac Newton to rise from the dead and rewrite that entire thing.

Her bra works so hard all day long trying to keep these demons tame. It was so nice of her to give her clothing a break for once.

Supposedly it can fire shells the size of rhino horns. Which means we're gonna need at least 3 more if we're going to stop the Kardashian sisters.

When you see their enormous mass you'll understand why there's a two person minimum requirement to get in her bedroom. Shit just ain't safe by yourself.