Actually, we did. Many times. And one act of making sure a welfare check doesn't stop coming to the house isn't going to change that Mr. Williams.

I'm not sure what started this, but I'm inclined to believe it has something to do with the last donut.

Damn. Another minute or so and her face wold truly know what a vagina feels like once a month.

Crocodile Dundee called. He said nice try. Then went back to 1992 when the average person knew who the fuck Crocodile Dundee is.

As if he needed more reason to shit his pants in a public place.

Fortunately for him, wheelchairs are more like futuristic go-karts nowadays. Who really needs functioning brains anyway?

It's about time someone put these things to good use. Unfortunately, brain damage is the same end-result they've always had.

Half of that title is redundant. We don't think she minds though.

The loser here appears to be of African heritage. And you know what they say about those girls trying to keep their dignity during a fight. Yeah, me either.

I felt bad for the moose, but then I remembered Tuesday is $.50 cent taco night at the local mexi hut. Everything's gonna be 'aight.

They said combining urban dance moves with bare knuckle fighting was insane. But Tyrone thinks outside the box. When his brain is working.

Defending yourself is much more difficult when you're butt naked and fully lathered in soap. Just ask my girlfriend between the hours of 9 and 10 AM.

Admittedly, this would've only been half as funny if it wasn't his parole officer on the line. Stereotypes FTW.

The people watching may have thought about breaking it up. Then they remembered they were in Alabama, where I'm pretty sure stopping violence is a mortal sin.

If only she was wearing a perfume that smelled like a 9-5 job. That would have made the instigator back off instantly.

Typically I'd not want to see a girl domestically abused. But that bitch took a shit in my mailbox and probably owes me $3.50.

Just like smoking crack, you're never too young to destroy a fast food establishment in the hopes of out-douchebagging another guy from your liberal arts classes.

It's got everything from black on black violence, borderline train homicide and an attempt to slit a throat. Had it been inn India we'd have to congratulate someone on a marriage.

Who said chivalry doesn't exist? Probably the one putting the teeth back in her mouth for starters.