I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Especially when she starts orbiting it.

Every year more than 7 aspiring body builders under 130 lbs are killed by synthetic injections. The rest are done in by Ketamine and faulty Honda Civics.

All could have been forgiven, up until the tampon string made it's appearance. Back to the cage with ye.

1:40 is the money shot on this one. Welcome to Ikea's meatball department, bitch.

Our only hope is he woke the fuck up before the 3:00AM run to White Castle happened. There's no recovering from that mud slide.

They said we'd never get a movie adaption of Hungry Hungry Hippos. They were wrong.

Suddenly Bishnu's hairy knuckles inside Domino's pizza dough doesn't sound like the worst alternative in the fast food game.

Bitch was definitely born a ginger because I'm sensing a total lack of soul here. And titties if she dare try to recycle my homemade chowder in such a fashion.

After a certain amount of depth is reach, you've officially had sex. So consider both of these poor souls completely fucked.

That was 1/12th of a minute of pure excitement. It's like prom night all over again.

You let ONE water buffalo enter the human gene pool and look what happens. Science, damn you.

Or the upside. It really depends on what you're into.

And that's why women shouldn't be allowed to do anything. Ever.

As a straight man with absolutely no medical training, I recommend NOT exposing your genitals in this venue. There's better, more local to me, ways to get anal rash.

In all fairness to the loser, his mom doesn't get enough food stamps to buy both Skoal AND milk. That'll ruin anybodies vitamin D count.

And "sleeping" is really the nicest reason he could have ended up there in this country. The real reason probably involves skittles, nudity and one really angry petting zoo owner.