Fuck the future generation. I officially give up.

Hillbilly Jim hunts down the oaf that's been trying to woo his chick over the Internets with the intent to kick ass and peel bacon off his back. Only half of that happens though.

Not to be completely insensitive, but judging by the third trimester he's in the middle of, reproducing wasn't the best idea for him anyway.

They say you're not supposed to laugh at people with weight problems. They also say drinking an entire bottle of Smirnoff in one night is bad so fuck them - HA HA HA.

Admittedly, this wouldn't have been half as funny if he didn't fall on top of a working piano. But when it comes to overweight abuse, we take what we can get.

That was the last time anything hard was down there.