A remedial daily task that takes less than 8 seconds NOT drawn out into a 27 minute choreographed dance routine? Fake.

Don't worry, he's British. The only way a girl will notice something is wrong is if he's not riding a bicycle while having sex with her.

Chubby girls are only really useful for taking it on the face and lowering prices on dollar menus. If she can't house a baconator in under 8 seconds she's pretty much fucked.

Let's just hope he learned his lesson. About watching the legs and not advancing his bi-curiosity in violent ways.

Street fighting has no rules, but soccer does. And he's breaking all of them.

And to think, if black people on a subway car didn't instinctively make you start recording video on a cellphone this footage wouldn't have ever existed. Thanks stereotyping!

He was left with all jewelery and money in his wallet... which means this is still more civil than Detroit and most of the eastern seaboard combined. Problem America?

Don't want to get kneed in the face? Don't take up a hobby that requires a special outfit. Think about it.

Undeniable proof that political correctness still exists in the education system.

Well if you're gonna imitate Bear Grylls, at least do it right and get some of it into your stomach. You just look silly.

Nothing makes a closet homosexual find his place faster than being introduced to contact sports.

Fun fact: If the amount of punches that did zero damage were replaced with nickels, you'd have like 30 cents. More than enough to rent a hooker with 1 leg.

He survived. But is too scared to fight topless men, with 80% of their bodies covered in tattoos ever again. Go figure.

Luckily brain damage gives him a legitimate medical reason for being incomprehensible while singing. I'm still waiting for this guy's excuse.

And he just... walks it off like nothing happened? Promote this man to serial killer.

Sherman's dating pool just got demoted from physically disabled girls to mentally disabled girls. Thanks peer pressure.

These fruit cups are gonna have to take up a new hobby pronto. Like football, or cordless bungee jumping for example.

Usually when someone is forced to digest their teeth and suffer a cojncusion, emergency assistance is in order. But a good bro knows he'd have to stop recording to make that call... and shit ain't happening.

Yes. Yes he does.

Why? I'm asking myself the same question. If I wanted Adolf Hitler starring back at me while I used up my 3.5 minutes I'd request it in the Craigslist post first.