And you thought genital diseases were the only reason to use your vagina as an act of self-defense.

$20 says she just got down and did the deed just to make the pervert leave her alone for 10 minutes. That voice and proportion are enough to freak anyone out.

Was it the sex in a public place or the fact that she's doubling up on the dick? We don't know, but one lucky janitor is going to be a very sad panda tonight.

It's outdoor so you should already know who's voice you're going to be hearing. That's right, it's him - and he might as well be the soundtrack to you jacking off.

Seems to always happen to the guy that deserves it the least. Where are my English-deprived sluts that let you finger them before asking a last name?

That is some grade A+ beef between her legs there. So damn good even getting tagged by this creepy fuck can't lower her stock to unfuckable levels.

Boris changes his attitude once he notices all eyes are on him and his 5 inch python. In 10 seconds flat he goes through every emoticon AOL has to offer.

And now that his suave ways of entering the cotton hole have been documenting we can all go to Europe and get our own slut puffin for ourselves.

And that's the story of why you shouldn't be British.

How do you say Butthole Terminator in French? Because that's this man's nickname from now on. Not cornhole in west Europe is safe from his bald wrath.

Why call for help when you can use your technologically advanced cellphone to take pictures instead?

I'm no expert, but I think finding yourself in this position can be linked back to years of being hugged by your dad. While you're asleep.

Girl sports her O-Face more times in this one video than you've seen in real life added up. Calling her vagina delicate would be the understatement of the hour.

We've seen these two on here before and it's the same deal. You can't tell who the girl is when you blur your eyes but she's a good fuck so we can't deny her.

And that's why all modern day cars should come with optional side chainsaws and missile launchers. Except in Russia.

Looking like the ass of a billy goat and being hung like one too all of a sudden doesn't seem so bad. AMERICA COMMUNITY SERVICE, Y U NO DO THIS?

Its a home video straight out of butt sex central Europe, and there's not one chest defecation even attempted. I'd say that's a total upgrade for Germany.

Am I the only one that consistently fails to be intimidated by someone with this accent? It's like being attacked with hugs.

It's like doing it in America, except it tastes like expensive mustard.

Ass fucking a girl from Budapest. It's one of the to-do things on my bucket list but avoiding any hole this machine has been inside of is gonna be difficult.