Waste disposal unit has been dispatched. Stay clam.

There's no glory in a free shot. But there's a whole lot of laughter when you go down like a fucking Looney Toons character after an anvil attack.

So instead of driving home drunk, you drive home buzzed with half a shit in your underwear. It's a compromise, but lives will be saved.

Don't worry, that's what medicaid is for. And in another 20 years he'll be able to use it and reattach his brain stem.

Muff diving, soul-stealing stares, filthy public acts of indecency... but don't be fooled by her dyke-out. She looks like a certified dong huffer as well, and my next Facebook stalkee.

Racial harmony just got pushed back another decade. Thanks Tyrese.

Lookout world. These feisty females have a bladder full of Skinny Margaritas and the equilibrium of a 92-year-old geriatric. Consequences will never be the same.

I don't know what sex on cocaine looks like, but I'm going to guess this is pretty darn close. Chick looks like she was tripping balls an hour before shooting this.

Just when you think his greatest social skill is shitting his pants in the McDonald's drive-thru at 3:00 AM, he goes and does this.

If the first girl's exposed tampon string doesn't get your boner to maximum hardness, the hottie turning the street corner into her personal piss box will. Guaranteed.

As fate would have it, you really shouldn't bring a face to an elbow fight.

In the hood you knock a bitch out first, then have a sensible word about the situation. And steal a wallet or 3.

In Mexico, this is how you become the designated driver.

Shriveled ballsacs aren't the only side effect to testosterone injections. Sometimes this happens too.

Most law enforcement would just taze the anus and call it a day. Meet the sole exception.

Could have been worse though. Had this been Brazil we'd be looking at a serious case of sexual assault and two counts of chicks with dicks on top of this.

Can't tell if she's fighting back tears... or laughter.

What has $100, zero shame and an extra potent fishy smell below the waist line? Sammy does. And you should never let her be a pet sitter.

Well...that's probably where he would've wanted to sleep tonight anyway.

What is it about booze that makes people think they're immune to a full powered shot to the jaw? It's not ooze, and you ain't a Ninja Turtle mother fucker.