If only real life was more like the fantasy life of World of Warcraft. You could level up to get stronger, and elf warriors would have sex with you.

That's one way to make a girl with an alternative life style feel inferior to the rest of the world. Another is to hide her Home Depot credit card.

To be fair it was more like 6 vs 1. That one wearing a picnic blanket counts as at least 3 human beings.

Totally uncalled for, but I recognize that kind of rage. Poor girl must have been forced to sit through all 2 hours of the last Nicholas Cage movie.

If a girl minding her own business on the street pisses her off that much, I'd hate to see what happens when her Tyler Perry DVDs get delayed by Amazon. Must be a fucking nightmare.

Having to carry around tampons for the rest of your life? Good luck explaining that one during those college parties.

This went down in Georgia, so it's safe to assume it all started over one girl's slight disdain for her fellow human beings non-human hair weave or something of lesser value than a pancake.

Inner-cities continue to look like fantastic places to live. As long as I don't have to be anywhere the fuck near them.

Being 98% naked before a cat fight breaks out is pretty pointless if one titty fails to fall out. Seriously, what the fuck man?

I seriously had some hope left for this world. And then someone took incomprehensible responses written in 140 characters or less, and exploded it into physical violence. That's the end of that.

When one of the highlight of your fighting career is successfully keeping your keeping most of the hair attached to your head, it might be time to head back to Facebook and perform the fetal position there.

As fate would have it, an all-chicken nugget diet really hinders your performance as a street fighter.

And by justifies we mean howling out an explanation in a language Rosetta Stone has yet to tackle.

I'd rag on the little fruit cup, but he gets to go tampon shopping every week from now until the rest of his life. Seems like punishment enough.

I don't know if we should be upset at the cruel nature of humanity, or in complete fucking shock and awe that this was done in slippers. Or as they call them in the hood: foot blankets.

If you don't think lifting 3 bottles of weave shine and a copy of Jet magazine is worth this kind of beating, then you obviously haven't dated a real black girl. And have zero faith in the name Shantaquesha Jenkins.

If the Rock wasn't too busy whoring himself out for Disney he'd probably be mad that someone is using his finishing move.

And the scoreboard says: Broken Noses - 1, Ability to Hold a Camera Without Looking Like The Blair Fucking With is After You - 0.

I know - of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, a skinny, graceful and speedy one is the worst choice here. But it's a damn good comparison and anything else from the Lion King would be racist.

Respect for another person's property is obviously as much a concern there as condoms are to a Slovakian prostitute. On the rag.

The new protocol for Walmart is, hide you kids, hide yo boyfriend, and stay the fuck away from the BBQ chip aisle after 3PM. You'll thank us when you see it.