Just once I'd like this to happen when I decide physical energy will be exerted outside of ordering a pizza. Is that really so much to fucking ask for?

Take three and call us in the morning. We're not doctors but that is going to be the best damn advice any quack in a butcher's coat will give you in your lifetime.

Going more than a week without seeing Caprice's tits sounds like pure torture. Luckily she's got an infinite amount of videos and a ridiculous amount of energy.

When you're dealing with vagina of this caliber you'd think there would be a ridiculous screening process. But this is eastern Europe we're talking about here.

It's easy to sneak up on the trusting ones. It's not so easy for them to not feel like a cum dribbling gutter slut after you blast one in their face after sneaking up.

The ole' meet and greet never seems to work as good here as it does in Europe. According to the Internet, every guy is scoring perfect 10 penetrations with ease.

A long time coming for a girl that got famous via mainstream popularity. So let it been known - If you dare bang Charlie Sheen, the next step is in your asshole.

If only you knew how many begging requests and emoticons this took. Turns out, you just gotta give the bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.