Nice hustle. Real nice. But unless there's a portal between those thighs I want the fucking explanation.

Wendy's is really kicking up their advertising in Japan.

Look at all those empty calories.

Two things are evidence after watching this. And both of them make me want to stay as far away from German people as possible.

This reminds me of the last time I went to the dog pound. Except the euthanizing happened a lot quicker there.

Great. Now she needs a hamburger AND 3 years worth of therapy to get her self-confidence back.

She almost has the kitchen thing right. So it's somewhat forgivable... I guess.

This bitch reached un-fappable status a long time ago. This is going to keep her there for eternity.

Epic public masturbator is epic.

Anybody else got a craving for meatball sub? Double meat.

Or a lot. It depends on how many Japanese movies you've been conditioned with.

Best Craigslist transaction, EVER.

If there was a hall of fame for supporting acts of public indecency, this girl would be the first person they make a statue of. But there isn't. I checked.

Bob Vila would be proud. Then jealous that his awesome beard is being outdone by that scruff hole.

Fucking hell. I haven't seen such a spaced-out look on someones face since the time I walked in on dad giving mom a Texas chili bowl. That reminds me, I'm late for therapy. By 27 years.

This is what happens to you after sleeping with Lil Wayne. You've been warned.

This is the kind of shit The Discovery Channel dedicates an entire hour long documentary too.

And know you know why the "FREE" section on Craigslist exists. For her, not the couch.

The right hole is closed and the right one is still open. If her hair wasn't sponsored by Crayola, we'd be looking at the perfect female specimen.

Popped a molly he sweatin. WHOOP.

Unfathomable